Three Years On: A Journey of Growth, Courage, and Unseen Strength

 

Today marks three years since I made the call that changed everything.

On the 19th of November 2022, I phoned Jenson’s school and said the words I never imagined I’d have to say:
“I won’t be bringing him back until there is a plan in place to support him.”
That plan never came.

What followed were the hardest, most defining years of our lives.

Three Years of Fighting for Support

In these three years, Jenson was diagnosed autistic.
He entered a deep burnout that took months - realistically, years - to slowly come out of.
We applied for an EHC needs assessment, only to be refused, despite him clearly meeting every criteria.
I changed jobs because my line manager didn’t understand the reality of parenting a child in trauma…
… and eventually I had to take a career break altogether, because Jenson needed 24/7 support, and nothing was moving quickly enough for him to get the help he required.

We appealed the EHCNA refusal - and we won.
The LA agreed to assess and accepted he needed an EHCP.

But the plan they wrote?
It didn’t reflect Jenson at all.

We had no choice but to fund private, medico-legal assessments - speech and language, occupational therapy, educational psychology. Each one essential. Each one expensive. Each one a step toward being heard and getting his needs met!

Having appealed the EHCP that issued, a tribunal date was set - almost a year away - and we lived in limbo.
While we waited, I facilitated home education as best as I could, and the LA did provide some play therapy and gaming mentoring. But it wasn’t enough to meet his needs. Not really. And if I was officially home educating, he and provided him with just those two things, he would be summoned back to school because it would been deemed not a suitable full time education - crazy!

The Breakthrough: EOTAS

Then in September 2024, just two weeks before tribunal, the LA conceded.

They finally agreed to award EOTAS - Education Other Than At School - acknowledging what we had been saying all along:

Jenson will not learn in an environment where he does not feel safe.

His trauma runs deep.
His separation anxiety is extreme.
And we are still waiting for the right support to help him work through it.

Being awarded EOTAS was incredible news - validation, relief, and a real turning point - but the challenges didn’t magically disappear.
A year on, even after our recent annual review, Jenson still isn’t receiving all the provision clearly written in Section F of his EHCP, which for those unaware, the Local Authority have a legal duty to provide what is written in section F!

Managing EOTAS is a full-time job in itself. It's a good job I am good at admin, organisation and coordinating!
And yes, the system is exhausting.
Beyond exhausting. Jenson has Gaming mentoring, play therapy, occupational therapy, physio, animal based learning, speech and language and a home tutor - all of which I have to manage!

But This Isn’t a Story About Struggle - It’s a Story About Growth

Because when I look at Jenson now, what I see most is progress.

Slow, steady, meaningful progress.

He is no longer in burnout.
He is engaging with so many of his provisions.
He is learning, growing, asking questions again.
He is smart, curious, funny, and full of potential that simply needed the right environment to be seen.

I won’t pretend he’s thriving - not yet.
The anxiety and trauma still show up every day, and they often get in the way.

But we celebrate wins that others might miss:
a moment of confidence,
a new connection,
a task completed,
a spark of joy. Just yesterday he took part in a dance class his sister runs for home educated children - this was so amazing to see.

These are our success stories.
These are our milestones.

A Final Word to Anyone on This Journey

If you’re somewhere on this path - at the beginning, the middle, or clinging on at the end - I see you.

This journey is heavy.
It reshapes you.
It isolates you.
It pushes you to become an advocate you never expected to be.

But you are not alone.

And there is growth here - even in the hardest seasons.
Sometimes especially in them.

Sending love and strength to every family navigating school trauma, EHCP battles, EOTAS, burnout, and everything in between.

Here’s to the progress we fight for.
Here’s to the children who deserve safety.
And here’s to the parents who refuse to give up.

Stay empowered,

Laney x